I used to love X Files.  It was really my first TV fandom.  Every Friday night (and then Sunday night) I’d sit in front of the VCR, carefully pausing the recorder during the commercial breaks.  I had a poster of David Duchovny on the wall and I made a D.D.E.B. card to carry in my wallet.  My senior quote in my high school yearbook is a line from the X Files movie that came out the year before.  I knew the exact line because I had bought the collector’s edition boxed set that came with the shooting script.  Yes, I was an X Phile.

All that changed after the infamous Butt Genie episode and my introduction to Joss Whedon’s ability to write a story and have it make sense even after 7 seasons. 

But old habits die hard and I just had to see I Want To Believe in theaters, even though both Becky and I knew it would be bad.  And it was.

Okay, the first 45 minutes were like a decent episode of the series.  People die, a psychic ex-child-molesting priest finds their body parts, its creepy, Mulder and Scully investigate (even though neither of them is FBI anymore).  It’s all fine and dandy, at least watchable.  Then it takes a turn for the weird.  Out of nowhere, the script begins this odd discussion on religion, forgiveness, and if M/S is cannon or not. 

And to top it all off, Scully conducts stem cell research by typing “stem cell research” into Google and then hitting “Print All” and shoving the pages into a folder she then quickly labels “Stem Cell Research”.  I think I died a little inside when I saw that.

Leoben Callum Keith Rennie, was good as a creepy gay Russian who apparently used to live in Massachusetts but now kidnaps women in his giant snow plow truck. (tru fax).  Skinner makes a very small appearance.  He looks good still.  David and Gillian look TIRED and OLD and they made me feel TIRED and OLD! 

Yeah, the audience started losing it the last half hour of the movie.  So bad.  This is why you let franchises GO!

Note to Hollywood:  Please hire Gillian Anderson to do some decent movies.  The woman can act, she’s just trapped in X Files and BBC land.  Let’s get her into something mainstream.